


And it might take a sec

by tickles2900



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Catra Needs A Hug, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Season/Series 05, and then she gets one, this is really just self indulgence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:20:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25641223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tickles2900/pseuds/tickles2900
Summary: What they’re doing in the bathroom is not much unlike that, except, now when she speaks, Catra’s tone has no bite. It’s soft and honest; like she’s opening a floodgate.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 195





	And it might take a sec

**Author's Note:**

> i don't really like king princess but i would like to thank her song if you think its love bc that shit slaps and is also the only thing i listened to while writing this 
> 
> anyway i hope you likey <3
> 
> TW: there is the briefest mention of self harm,, you can definitely scroll past it but it is there so an FYI!!

The bathroom light is on and Catra’s side of the bed is empty. These are the first things Adora notices when she wakes up.

She’s not sure what time it is, but it feels late. The nighttime glow twisting soft shadows in the room, making the furniture and fixtures seem stretched and grey. It’s a symptom of a planet with 12 moons.

She turns to face the open balcony; it’s dark out, still. There’s a gentle breeze, Adora can hear the wisps of it in the trees outside on the grounds more than she can feel it. Catra sleeps on the left. When she reaches over to touch the space where the other girl should be, it’s cool. _She hasn’t been in bed for some time_. Adora doesn’t need to call out to know Catra’s in the bathroom.

* * *

Trouble sleeping isn’t a new concept for either of them. They’re two months out of the war and peace is a state in flux. Healing takes time and two months is inconsequential in the grand scheme of all that has happened.

She remembers a particularly rough evening when it had just ended. Sitting ramrod straight outside her tent as She-ra, unable to shift back - failing to convince herself that everything was fine, that her friends were safe, Prime was gone, that the war was over. Catra had come out, the warmth of sleep radiating off of her in waves, slightly rumpled and without a word had crawled into her lap.

It must have been the most ridiculous scene for anyone who was looking on.

She-ra, towering and larger than life, sitting cross legged; Catra, who looked comically small, sitting with her back leaning against Adora’s chest. Catra spent the whole night alternating between purring softly and pointing at the new stars in the sky, giving them names and stories like she knew _anything_ about stars.

 _That one and that one are in love,_ she’d pointed to two dots of light on opposite sides of the sky, _but they can’t be together because stars aren’t allowed to fall in love_.

 _Why can’t stars fall in love?_ It had felt oddly important for Adora to know.

She’d shrugged. _Cause they’re so far away from each other and if they got to close, it would burn them both up_. Her voice had been barely above a whisper. Like she was trying to convey a secret even Adora couldn’t know, like if she’d said it too loudly the words would travel up through the atmosphere and back to the stars and she’d somehow get in trouble.

Adora hadn’t answered right away. Instead, she let the words settle over her. It seemed inexplicably sad - what Catra had said. It seemed familiar too, her words echoing a reflection of Adora and Catra and all they’d fought to get here now. _You sound like you’re speaking from experience_ , Adora had murmured, eventually, lips brushing the top of Catra’s head; a point of anchor.

 _I don’t know_ , Catra had shrugged again, _Life imitates art and all that_.

 _Plus_ , She’d moved around then to look Adora in the face, rather look up at Adora’s face, two-toned eyes full of mirth, _Stars don’t have legs_.

* * *

It’s not much of a surprise that Catra couldn’t sleep, she’d been somewhere else all day: not quite distant, but distracted. Physically there, but Adora could tell her mind was off on its own. She’d spent dinner watching Catra push the food around on her plate, eyes glassy and unfocused, zoning back in only to halfheartedly to tell Adora she was fine. _I’m okay Adora_ , she’d emphasized the “okay” smiling, _just tired I guess_ , her smile never met the rest of her features.

She had chosen not to push it then. There was no use in making Catra talk when she wouldn’t. But now, Adora kicks the sheets off her legs, swings them over the side of the bed and gets up. It might be Summer in Brightmoon but the ground is still cold to touch. The palace is beautiful but whatever flooring was used throughout the rooms is not very heat absorbent, it makes her shiver on contact. She wraps her arms snugly around herself, trying to chase off the sudden chill setting under her skin. The bed having been empty was still _warm_. 

The door to the bathroom is slightly ajar. There’s a slat of soft light running from it down the floor, ending close to the start of their bed - it felt disingenuous to refer to it as hers and not theirs. This is technically still Adora’s room alone but Catra hadn’t spent a single night in her own since coming to Brightmoon.

There’s proof of that scattered all over.

A jacket thrown haphazardly on a loveseat, her brush with dark brown hair snagged on its bristles sitting on the desk, boots Catra only ever wears for special events slouching against the wall by the door, a plant she insists on taking care of herself.

* * *

On that first night, Adora had walked Catra to the room they’d decided would be hers and then she’d walked to her own. It wasn’t that she had wanted to sleep separately, but the thought of pushing Catra into something she didn’t want or wasn’t ready for was worse than the thought of sleeping apart.

The next morning Adora had woken up to something solid and warm pressed up against her side; _Catra_ curled up, sleeping beside her.

She’d looked younger in her sleep, peaceful. The hard lines of her brow completely melted away, her face was untouched by expression and she was beautiful. Catra had always been effortlessly beautiful.

They hadn’t really talked about it, but that next night and every night after, they’d gone to Adora’s room. Catra had started joking she was going to turn her own unused one into a closet.

* * *

She walks towards the door and stops short. Through the gap, she can see Catra’s lithe frame. If the other senses Adora’s presence, she doesn’t acknowledge it. From what Adora can see, she looks fixed in place, shoulders arched up; tense.

Her first instinct is to rush in, open the door, get to Catra, _hold her_. Scare off whatever has her up in the middle of the night, standing in their bathroom, looking the way she does, whatever had her hard to reach all day. She knows better than to do that though, knows that might only upset Catra more, send her deeper into herself. Instead, she knocks once, firmly. It’s more to announce that she’s behind the door than to ask for permission to come in.

In the cavernous quiet of the bedroom, the sound is full and powerful, almost too loud. Adora has to hold back a wince; she hadn’t meant it to be so heavy handed.

For her part; Catra barely seems to notice. There’s a moment, then a faint breath in and, she sighs clear and long, ears twitching in Adora’s direction. It's all the signal Adora needs. She pushes the door open.

Catra is standing in between their sinks, staring at herself in the mirror. She’s in sleep clothes, a loose-fitting shirt and shorts. They had long since swapped out their old horde-issued ones for light fibrous materials from Plumeria. Her shirt sits low on one of her shoulders. Catra’s never been the bulkiest, lean and whipcord strong, but never big. This top dwarfs her though. Adora can _just_ see the hem of her shorts underneath.

She flicks her eyes up to look at Adora through the mirror. Catra hasn’t slept a lick. Her tawny skin looks almost silvery in the dim bathroom light and her eyes are half-lidded, dark circles make her face look sunken in. She’s been raking her hands through her hair - it’s grown out since the end of the war, the longer pieces of the front have been pushed away from her face, and it’s sticking up slightly in the back. Despite all of this; her profile reads no emotion. It looks like it’s taking her a considerable amount of effort to keep it that way.

She moves into the space, not quite breaching Catra’s bubble, and sits leaning at the edge of the bathtub. Her fingers itch to touch and soothe, smooth down the hair poking up the back of her head, and she will, just not yet.

Back when they were growing up, Catra used to disappear when she was upset. A mixture of needing to be alone and white-hot shame, she’d find the emptiest hallway or storage container and she’d sit in there. Adora would almost always find her. She’d known Catra better then she’d known anything back then.

Adora considers she still does.

“What’s going on?” she asks it simply, clinical. Her eyes haven’t yet adjusted to the change in brightness, but she sees how Catra’s hands are fisted on the counter. She imagines sharp and unsheathed claws digging into the delicate skin of her palms. Adora hates the idea of Catra hurting herself; unintentionally or not.

She would find Catra huddled up in some dark corner of some dark hallway and she would ask the same question; _what’s going on, what’s wrong, what happened_. It was a pattern they followed well into adolescence, Catra grew better at slinking away, hiding, but Adora grew better at finding her. Back then, when she would ask what was wrong, Catra had always answered with hostility; _why do you care, it doesn’t matter, it’s none of your business Adora_.

What they’re doing in the bathroom is not much unlike that, except, now when she speaks, Catra’s tone has no bite. It’s soft and honest; like she’s opening a floodgate. “I felt so lonely today, I’m not entirely sure why.”

Catra lets her head lull back so she’s looking up. Her fists uncurl, but stay planted on the stone counter, her eyes slip closed. Tail lashing lightly back and forth, she's started to breathe deliberately. All pretense in her body language is gone.

Adora watches her, she’s not entirely sure how to appease this, if she _can_ appease this. “What do you need?” she asks.

Catra laughs wetly. There’s no joy to the sound, apathetic and sorrowful all wrapped up in one. On her, exhale asks, “Can we go back to bed?” She opens her eyes and turns to face Adora, “Please?” The request is whispered.

Like Adora would deny her that, like Adora could deny her anything.

She’s up in an instant, moving to stand in front of the shorter girl. This close, Adora can see the light smattering of freckles Catra has on her nose and cheeks, how the amber of her eye melts to gold closer to her pupil. _Loneliness_ , Adora thinks, is not something she can scare off.

Catra’s hands are resting limply at her sides. Adora reaches for them. her wrists are small, small enough for Adora to wrap her thumb and forefinger all the way around, she does, tugging them up towards herself gently. She turns them palm side up. There, Adora can see angry small halfmoon marks, four on each side. She brings Catra’s hands up to her lips.

“Adora-”, Catra’s voice is hoarse.

She leaves chaste closed mouth kisses on either hand.

“Okay”. Adora nods and looks back up at her, “Let’s go back to bed.”

* * *

She lets Catra lead the way back into their bedroom, lets Catra push her back down onto the bed and climb in directly on top of her, tucking her head into the junction between Adora’s shoulder and neck. She lets herself wrap her arms around Catra, pull her in closer. Adora turns her own head so that her face is buried in Catra’s hair, the silky strands tickling her nose.

 _I felt so alone today, I’m not entirely sure why_. Catra’s words replay in her head.

Loneliness has a way of creeping up on you, choking you out, without notice or reason. It’s all consuming Adora thinks, slipping under your skin, settling low in your stomach, a weight with claws. She wishes there was something to take it away; use She-ra maybe, kiss Catra’s mind, her heart, heal whatever fractures lie there. She can’t fix this though, Adora knows there's nothing to be done about it.

Except maybe let it run its course.

“It’ll pass,” she says it like a promise, wills it to be true. Catra’s shirt has ridden up on her back. She starts tracing gentle circles into the patch of exposed skin there.

“It’ll pass.” Catra parrots her words back in reply, she sounds unconvinced, lips brushing lightly at Adora’s throat. “I’d prefer it if it passes now though”.

That has Adora huffing an amused breath into the other’s hair. Her lips quirk faintly. “I know”.

“Hey, Adora?” Catra’s voice is thick.

Adora hums to indicate she's listening. There's a soft puff of air on her neck.

So quietly, Adora almost misses it “I think I’m gonna cry.” Catra sniffles, voice breaking.

She shifts, moving out of Adora’s grasp onto her back.

Her eyes follow the slight line of Catra’s nose, the plump of her bottom lip and then down her throat. The way she’s laying now has left the skin there taut and vulnerable. If this were another circumstance, Adora would close the space between them, rollover, brace her arms on either side of Catra’s head hovering above. Lean forward, kiss and nip the tender columns of Catra’s neck down, down to her collarbone, down even further still.

This is not another circumstance though. Adora stays where she is.

Catra lets out a soft sob and then another. The sound of it runs straight through Adora’s chest. When she blinks, it releases tears down her cheeks.

she makes a decision and then

Adora reaches for her, gets her arm around the smaller girl’s waist and pulls her back in. Brings her hand up to run her fingers tenderly through Catra’s hair, hopes it's grounding. “You were too far away,” she murmurs into the darkness. She’s facing the balcony again.

“Your shirt’s going to get all wet,” Catra’s shaking.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind.”

They’re silent after that, Catra cries, trembling through whatever this is, Adora keeps running fingers through her hair. Out the balcony, she can see the first signs of dawn; it's gotten lighter out and there are birds chirping somewhere off in the distance.

Eventually, Catra draws in a breath, then again and again. She's stopped shaking, from what Adora can tell without seeing her face she's stopped crying as well. “I’m scared,” she says it into Adora’s sternum. Adora can feel the words vibrate there. “I’m scared all the time.”

“I’m scared all the time too,” she’s whispering. It’s quiet in the room other than their breathing, Adora doesn’t want to break that.

“You don’t have to say that Adora”. Catra’s tone is resigned, defeated.

“I’m serious,” she pulls away slightly to look at Catra’s face, as she does, Catra looks up at her. Her eyes are rimmed red and there are salty tear stains streaking her cheeks. Still, she’s the prettiest thing Adora’s ever seen “I’m not just saying that”. She shakes her head to punctuate.

Almost pleadingly Catra asks, “Yeah?”. They’re so close, Adora can feel the warm breath of the question on her face, at that moment she’d do anything to reassure Catra, commit her whole life in doing so.

She moves her hand from Catra’s head to cup at her jaw and grazes her thumb over her cheekbone. Catra leans into the touch, her eyes are closed. Adora presses a light kiss at her forehead, then at Catra’s lips, “Yeah.” “I think we’re doing okay though; at all of it, everything considered.” They pull apart.

“Some days I feel like the ground’s gonna open up and swallow me whole” Catra moves her eyes to look at something past Adora’s head “I don’t know if I’ll ever stop feeling that way.”

Adora answers honestly “I don’t know either.” Learning to cope is new. Forgiveness, acceptance, healing; seeds you bury in the ground, that you water and water and water. Hopefully, one day, they sprout. “I know that we have time though, no one expects us to have it all figured out now,” she pauses, then adds “or ever.”

“I think we spent a lot of time pushing down our hurt, it's only fair we spend the same amount working through it, whatever it is.” Catra stays quiet “And, you have me, and I have you,” She exhales “And I know that's really all we need.” _you’re not alone, you never are_.

She wants to say it until it sticks until she knows with absolute certainty that Catra will never forget.

“Having it all figured out sounds kind of boring to be honest,” when Catra looks duo colored eyes back at her, she's smiling. It's weak and small, but it’s real. The first real one Adora’s seen all day.

“Having it all figured out is probably really boring” Adora agrees,

“I’ll be okay” It’s a question and a statement all wrapped in one.

“You’ll be more than okay,” Catra is the strongest person Adora knows, she has no doubt.

“Thank you.'' Whatever fog Catra’s been under is lifting, Adora lets out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “Thank you for this.”

She wraps her hands around Catra’s narrow waist, “can I kiss you?”

“You just kissed me.”

“I wanna do it again.”

In answer, Catra tilts her chin up, eyes already slipping closed, “Okay.”

If she could, Adora would protect her from everything; every unpleasant thought, each shadow, any ugly thing that reared its head. She’d carry them for Catra herself.

She settles for kissing her, pouring the sentiment into her, pulling Catra closer, holding them down to this planet. Catra sleepy and pliant, lips slightly chapped but still soft. Adora loves her. “I love you.” She says it softly into the other’s mouth.

Catra’s eyes are still closed, “I love you too.”

It’s only gotten brighter outside, The moons; ever visible, beginning to pale in the lightening sky, soon Etheria will be awake. Soon, they’ll need to be awake as well. 

“We should sleep in, I think,” Catra says it easily.

Adora chuckles. She loves her.

“Yeah,” sighing, she rests her chin at the crown of Catra’s head, “Yeah, I think we should.”

**Author's Note:**

> my really cool friend amaya edited this for bc although i can drive i could not tell you where it is appropriate to place a comma in a sentence. so a round for her for making this readable!!!!! 
> 
> im on tumblr @badgrlcoven if you wanna say hullo or come talk 2 me that would be so lovely


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